Wake me up when August ends

JD Sports have regularly come in for criticism from St Mirren fans since being handed responsibility for the club's kits back in 2011. Lack of stock, shirts not fitting over folks head and a contract that stops the kits being sold from the Paisley 2021 Stadium are just some of the problems that have arisen over the last five years.

However, this season they seem to have excelled themselves. We are closing in on the end of August, with four league games already played, yet the new home kit isn't even on sale yet. The previous issues pale into insignificance compared to that incompetence. Sure, your new shirt might have an upside down badge and you might not be able to get it over your head but at least you've been able to buy it.

The lesser spotted new St Mirren kit

But maybe JD Sports, who claim to be the "King of Trainers" (replica football shirts presumably being reigned over by a different monarchy) are just following the team's lead. Maybe they've decided that if the team can't be bothered turning up before the end of August, why should the kits?

St Mirren have won on the opening day of the league season just twice since the turn of the millennium, the most recent of those successes being in 2006. The last time they managed a league win in August was back in 2012. The August of 2011, when the Buddies finished the month with two league wins from their opening fixtures (one of those was in July but that's beside the point) looks like the glory days compared to the last few years.

It's a ridiculously poor run of form. By law of averages you'd have thought at some point victory would have been fluked. Instead, four different managers in four seasons have already found themselves on the back foot and under pressure from demanding fans before the transfer window has even closed.

A glorious sight

Season 2013/14. Manager: Danny Lennon. Games played - 4; won - 0, drawn - 1, lost - 3. Goals scored - 2. Goals conceded - 9. Minutes led - 31.

Less than six months on from the glorious League Cup triumph, optimism was high for the new season. OK, the previous campaign had ended poorly but that was perhaps understandable given the triumph at Hampden. Now was the time to kick on to the mythical "next level".

Unfortunately, it didn't quite work that way. Poor player recruitment - nearly all of Danny Lennon's summer signings had been binned come January - led to a bad start. Inverness Caley Thistle romped to a 3-0 opening day win and the following week's draw with Kilmarnock owed much to Kris Boyd punching Jim Goodwin right in front of the referee. Another Highland trip ended with another 3-0 shellacking, this time Ross County gleefully rattling in the goals in a game that would also be known for "that time Gary Harkins didn't track his man at a corner".

We still had the League Cup to defend and we were handed a game against Queen of the South at Palmerston. Surely that would kick start the season? It looked as if it might when Steven Thompson opened the scoring in extra-time, however Queens turned it round to progress 2-1. As a Saints fan working in Dumfries, you can imagine how much I enjoyed work the following day...

Stephane Bahoken - a rarer sight than a new Saints kit

The pressure was mounting - although if you were Lennon there was no need to worry as pressure is only a concept, it doesn't exist and you can't actually measure it. Presumably no one told him about air pressure. Ahead of a game against newly-promoted Partick Thistle, the mysterious Stephane Bahoken arrived on loan from Nice. Having chucked Esmael Goncalves in from the start to devastating effect in the previous season's League Cup semi-final against Celtic, Lennon tried the same with his new recruit. Bahoken almost scored early on - but that was about as good as it would get for the forward during his time in Paisley. That didn't last too long either as he soon went AWOL.

Still, the game seemed to be going to plan when Kenny McLean opened the scoring against the run of play. Saints led for half an hour but two late goals in quick succession spelled another defeat. Despite the glorious days at Hampden being less than six months ago I remember uttering "Bye Danny" when the winner went in. Seemingly, he was extremely close to being sacked but was allowed to continue.

It set the tone for the rest of the season. Form eventually picked up - the first win finally arriving in October - and Lennon lasted until the end of the campaign, despite being close to the boot (in the minds of the fans at least) on numerous occasions. Eventually the team somehow finished eighth - remarkable considering the start to the campaign and the club's downward spiral since.

Lennon was effectively sacked come the summer, his contract not being renewed. At the time it seemed fair enough - he'd probably taken the club as far as he could and it was time for fresh blood to take us to the infamous "next level". Little did the fans know...

Tommy Craig imitates the reaction of most Saints fans when they found who'd been appointed

Season 2014/15. Manager: Tommy Craig. Games played - 4; won - 0, drawn - 0, lost - 4. Goals scored - 0. Goals conceded - 7. Minutes led - 0.

Ask a Saints fan at the end of 2013/14 if it was time for Danny Lennon to go and many would have said yes. Add that his replacement would be Tommy Craig and they'd probably have changed their minds. As Lennon's assistant he was part of the problem. His previous managerial appointment in Belgium was a disaster. Yet here he was in charge.

He set about signing a raft of players - not so much a "Who's who" but a "Who?". Strikers recruited from the lower leagues of England were greeted with the usual response of "Well, it worked for Billy Mckay at Inverness Caley Thistle", failing to acknowledge these were the exceptions rather than the rule. Again, nearly all of Craig's signings were binned come January - by which time he was long gone.

There's not much need to go into great detail. Four league games, four defeats, no goals scored. The opening day loss at Motherwell was encouraging despite the result, chances being missed before Jim Goodwin was sent off. It was a false dawn. Promoted Hamilton cruised to a midweek win and there were shambolic defeats to Dundee United and Dundee. The only bright spot was beating Dunfermline in the League Cup - and even that was hard work, the Buddies having to come from behind to win.

Callum Ball - signed after scoring a shedload against English non-league sides

After one season of struggle and managerial uncertainty, the Buddies were set for another, some fans already calling for change. A goal finally arrived on September 13, a win on September 19 thanks to a last minute penalty at Partick Thistle and things briefly threatened to flicker into life with a draw at Aberdeen and win at St Johnstone.

That was as good as it got for Craig as things quickly slid downhill. Defeat followed defeat and as things worsened and the fans made their feelings clear the manager started acting strangely in interviews, making it abundantly clear he didn't care what the supporters thought.

A loss to St Johnstone in December finished him off with the club just outside the relegation zone. Gary Teale replaced him - temporarily and then permanently - but the rot had set in, star player Kenny McLean was sold and the club was relegated come the season's end. Teale departed and it was time for a new face to try to lead the club back to the top flight.

What could possibly go wrong?

Season 2015/16. Manager: Ian Murray. Games played - 4; won - 0, drawn - 2, lost - 2. Goals scored - 3. Goals conceded - 6. Minutes led - 18.

Ian Murray would have been my choice to replace Danny Lennon in 2014. His stock was high and a step up to the top flight would have been perfect. 12 months later his star wasn't quite so bright and he was now faced with trying to take a relegated club back into the Premiership.

Still, it seemed a good move and some of the signings seemed sensible. Scott Agnew had done well for him at Dumbarton, Paul McMullan had impressed at Stenhousemuir while on loan from Celtic and Calum Gallagher had been fine when Cowdenbeath borrowed him from Rangers. However, he did also re-sign Alan Gow. But the season started well enough with Agnew scoring twice as Murray's new charges came from behind to beat Berwick Rangers in the Challenge Cup.

An opening day trip to Ibrox was always going to be tough and Saints soon found themselves 2-0 down before fighting back through Cameron Howieson's goal. After the break McMullan was flattened and Saints had a penalty - only for Steven Thompson to blooter it into the stand. A classic if only moment in the season as Rangers eventually won 3-1.

That wasn't supposed to happen...

Next up was Murray's old club Dumbarton in Paisley. They took the lead but Agnew equalised only for a late penalty to see the Sons to victory. Still, it was surely just a blip and the end of Jason Naismith's season due to injury was a bigger worry.

A midweek win over Annan in the Challenge Cup (coming from behind again) set things up for the first Renfrewshire derby in the league for 15 years. It was feisty with Luke Conlan being sent off (and never seen again) for Saints in the second half. It ended goalless - not ideal but a point on the board.

During the week there was a thrilling League Cup defeat to Livingston and Andy Webster and Lawrence Shankland were added to the squad before the Lions returned to Paisley on league business. McMullan scored early on and we finally looked to be on our way - only for Jack Baird, shunted to rightback, to concede a blatant penalty soon afterwards that was converted. Another chance gone, another August without a win.

The victory finally came against Queen of the South at Palmerston (as a Saints fan living and working in Dumfries, you can imagine how I felt come Monday morning...) in September and it looked as if Murray finally had it sussed when we raced into a two goal lead against Falkirk the following week. However, a second half collapse culminated in the Bairns grabbing a last minute winner.

Murray never recovered. He managed just one more league win, replaced assistant Mark Spalding with Alex Miller and, having been on the receiving end of a huge level of abuse after another defeat to Dumbarton, he quit. The club was facing a second successive fight against relegation and Alex Rae was the rather unexpected choice to replace him.

It wasn't pretty but it worked. The ship was soon steadied and some decent January business almost saw fifth place salvaged on the final day. The play-offs were long gone but things finally seemed to be moving in the right direction.

Current manager Alex Rae

Season 2016/17. Manager: Alex Rae. Games played - 4; won - 0, drawn - 2, lost - 2. Goals scored - 3. Goals conceded - 8. Minutes led - 0.

Unlike the previous two managers, Alex Rae wasn't a summer appointment and so didn't have to waste time getting his feet under the table. He knew which players to bin, which ones to keep and what he needed to sign. There were few arguments with who was released - Sean Kelly the only surprise, while some fans wanted cup winning captain Jim Goodwin retained. The signings seemed decent, especially up front, although the midfield seemed a bit light.

The League Cup handed Saints a favourable group and things were going to plan with wins over Livingston and Ayr, the latter thanks to Jack Baird's last minute goal. An embarrassment against Hamilton made things difficult but if Edinburgh City were beaten by four goals progress would be assured. At half-time things were looking good with Saints 3-0 up. However, the second half was rather That, combined with City tightening things up, meant the fourth goal never looked likely.

The league season opened with a derby against Morton and began with Saints fans unveiling a banner highlighting just how long it had been since our chums from down the river had beaten us. That was tempting fate and for the first half the Ton ran riot, scoring once while passing up several other chances. Perhaps the thought of finally ending their horrendous run got them a bit too excited as they conceded to John Sutton in the last 10 minutes - much to everyone's relief.

John Sutton celebrates the fact the banner can be used again

A trip to Raith Rovers followed. A team managed by Gary Locke - an easy three points, right? Uhm, no. Locke's laddies won 3-1 - going on about 7-3 - and the warning signs were there for all to see. The defence was slack and the midfield was being over-run, thanks in part to the absence of the injured Rocco Quinn. All hopes are pinned on his return - the classic case of a player getting better the longer he is injured.

Hibs at home after that was always going to be difficult but it was far too easy for Neil Lennon's men. It was 2-0 going on 4-0 by half-time and Jason Cummings should have had a hat-trick. The second half was effectively a training match.

The poor start led to the pressure mounting on Rae ahead of August's final game, a trip to Ayr. Like Saints, they'd had a bad start to the season. The system was altered but it made little difference as Ayr took the lead. That looked like being enough until Tom Walsh salvaged a point with a last minute header. Not a defeat but nowhere near good enough.

Tom Walsh - one of just three Saints players to score a league goal so far

And so, for the fourth season running, it's been a woeful August and the St Mirren manager is already under pressure. Maybe the late equaliser will be a turning point and things will improve. Or maybe it'll be another season like the last few. It could be Quinn's return will prevent that but the team is crying out some dig, aggression and commitment in the middle of the park - ironic considering that's exactly what the current manager was like as a player.

Let's just hope we don't go into the final game of the season needing a result. We've only closed our season with a win twice since the turn of the millennium too...

Reboot

I have decided it's time to have another bash at this blogging malarkey. I've deleted all but one of my previous posts - the tribute to Dario Franchitti I'm rather proud of - as they're a bit silly and immature. Don't worry, what I'll be posting in future will also be silly and immature but will also be less sweary and less likely to get me into trouble in real life!

Football, motorsport and my general rants about every day life will all be come under the microscope on here. I bet you can't wait, seeing as you probably only found this by accident.

Farewell to a legend

I've not posted on here for four and a half years. That's a long time, and I don't know why it's happened - not that it matters as hardly anyone reads this thing other than me! During that time I've often thought about having a blog, not realising one was still kicking about. A chance not to write about Scottish football, but about my passion for motorsport and various other things. I reckoned I'd maybe pick that up before the 2014 F1 season - but something happened tonight that made me decide to resume rambling rather sooner.

I've followed the career of Dario Franchitti for the best part of 20 years. I first became aware of him when he was racing in DTM in Germany and the ill-fated ITC for Mercedes. I received a model of that car for Christmas once - incredibly the only Dario one in my vast motorsport model collection, although he is part of a picture on my wall. His career led to CART, then IRL, a year in NASCAR and back to the unified IndyCar.

But now, no more. A crash in the penultimate race of the 2013 IndyCar season resulted in various injuries, including a fractured spine, and the doctors advised him enough was enough. The time has come for him to hang up his helmet for good. He's lucky - some of his friends didn't get that chance.

I'm gutted. It has been a joy watching him all these years, whether it's been for Mercedes, Hogan, Team Green or Chip Ganassi. Despite his huge success in America, he could probably walk down most streets in his homeland undisturbed. Well this Scot wants to give him the tribute he deserves.

After 1996 Mercedes placed Dario (I always seem to call him that when I'm talking about him, even though I don't know him) at Hogan Racing in the CART Championship. Wikipedia shows he had a best finish of eighth, but I don't quite know how. He had at least one pole and should have had at least a podium, if not a win.

The rather snazzy KOOL car

The following year he switched to Team Green, who raced in a rather snazzy green and white livery due to sponsorship from KOOL tobacco. It paid off. Three wins - I remember the debut one at Road America vividly - and he finished third in the championship. Things were looking good.

It took a while for a win to come the following season and that would eventually cost him dearly. Again he won three times and he went into a final race shoot out ahead of Chip Ganassi's Juan Pablo Montoya, racing an even snazzier red and yellow car. Unfortunately he finished a fair bit behind the Columbian due to car problems, the pair ended the season level on points and JPM took the crown due to having more than twice as many wins.

The title destiny was irrelevant though. In that final race of the year at Fontana Dario's good friend Greg Moore was killed in an accident. That was far more important than what had happened in the championship.

The next couple of years were pretty disappointing. A pre-season crash messed up 2000, while in 2001 he won just once. I remember watching the highlights of what while on holiday - and missing the last lap as the tape cut out! 2002 saw an improvement with three wins including his first on an oval at Rockingham - the short-lived CART race on UK soil. He also won in Canada and dedicated it to Greg Moore.

2003 saw the team - now Andretti Green thanks to the involvement of Michael Andretti - switch to IRL. The first year didn't go well and he missed most of it due to a motorbike crash. One of his deputies was Dan Wheldon, who would go on to become a good friend. Dario's first IRL win came in 2004 and he added another before the end of the season. Two more followed in 2005 but none in 2006.

Those days at a soaking wet Knockhill finally pay off.

He'd been unable to challenge for the title since 1999 but that all changed in 2007 - and at the biggest race of them all, the Indy 500. He got his tactics spot on, being in front at the time the Scottish weather arrived and the race was called due to rain. He'd emulated his hero Jim Clark by winning one of the world's biggest races and actress wife Ashley Judd went dancing in the rain.

That sparked him into life. He quickly added a couple more wins and racked up the podiums. The problem was Ganassi's Scott Dixon was clinging onto his tailpipe. With two races to go Dixon appeared to deliberately reverse across the track to ensure neither of them finished. The stage was set for a title decider at Chicagoland and it looked to be going Dixon's way. Incredibly, with just a corner to go, his car ran out of fuel. Dario ducked out from under his rear wing and sprinted for the line. He was champion. I can still remember my joy when I put the PC on the following morning and discovered he'd won.

There'd been a few near misses during the season, a couple of aerial crashes that could have been far, far worse. That, and a deteriorating relationship with his team, saw him switch to NASCAR with Ganassi. It didn't go well. He struggled in the Sprint Cup and got injured. That was that. He stuck with Ganassi, but returned to IndyCar - even racing again before the end of the year. He also raced for Ganassi in the Daytona 24 Hours - and won.

The 2009 season showed going back was the right move. With IRL and CART now back together as one he won four times to go into a three-way title battle at Homestead. He played it beautifully, conserving fuel while Dixon and Ryan Briscoe battled it out at front. With no yellows during the entire race, he was in front when it mattered and reeled off the laps to win the race and the title. It was so incredibly tense and nervewracking watching it, but he was cool, calm and collected in the car.

No prizes for guessing how many Indy 500's he's won.

2010 was more of the same - with the bonus of a second Indy 500 win. This time he dominated the great race but he only won two more all season. Despite that he went into the finale with another shot at the title. This time title rival Will Power cracked, hit the wall and Dario did enough - coming home eighth to make it a third title in four years.

Number four game in 2011 but it was almost an irrelevance. He went into the final race at Las Vegas ahead of Power and with the championship in his grasp. The race failed to make it past 20 laps. A huge multi-car pile up saw the race stopped. many of the drivers - including Power - were injured, but worst of all was the fact Dario's good friend Dan Wheldon had been killed. I remember reading the news when I came back from holiday and being numb and shocked. Sure, Dario was the champion - but what did it matter?

I wouldn't have been surprised if he'd retired then, but he kept going. The old car was out and replaced with a new car, named the DW12 as a tribute to Dan who had been involved in its development. 2012 and 2013 were not good years for Dario, although he still managed the odd podium. There was one exception though.

The 2012 Indy 500 came during some unexpected hot weather in Scotland. Dario qualified well down the field. I was outside enjoying the sun when the race started and checked my phone to see what was happening. I found a picture of Dario spun in the pitlane and didn't think there was any point rushing inside any time soon.

When I did make it in to watch it I was quite surprised to find Dario near the front. There he stayed until the final few laps. The lead was changing every half lap and as he was in front as he started the last lap it looked like he'd be mugged. Takuma Sato tried to go past on the inside, he spun into the wall, the yellows came out and I rather unsportingly went wild with delight. Dario had done it again. Aside from Euope's incredible win at the Ryder Cup it was my sporting highlight of 2012 - not bad going considering the Olympics and Andy Murray's US Open triumph.

It's about this point some people in Dumfries wonder why their neighbour is hollering...

Sadly, that was his last IndyCar win and ironically it was a crash with Sato that was to bring things to a close. At Houston a few weeks ago the pair crashed on the final lap. It looked serious and brought back painful memories of Las Vegas two years earlier. Thankfully, this time the consequences were nowhere near as tragic.

He didn't escape unharmed though and you wondered if this was the universe's way of telling him he'd had a good run and it was time to call it quits. He intended to return but the doctors had other ideas and so today came news of his retirement.

Enjoy your retirement Dario - and thanks for the memories.